The Housewife Assassin's Hostage Hosting Tips by Josie Brown

Author:Josie Brown [Brown, Josie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Signal Press
Published: 2014-12-03T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 11

Last Minute Cancellations

It’s inevitable that some of the invitees to your party will try to bow out at the very last minute. It’s your party, but no need to cry, even when you wanna. Here’s what you do instead:

1: Lay on the guilt trip. Tell them that you’ve made their favorite dish. Remind them that you haven’t seen them in too long. Lie about inviting someone who you know they’re gaga to meet. Sure, they’ll be disappointed when their crush is a no-show–even more so when they discover he was at the party they missed.

2: Invite your B-List: Yes, I know–the reason they’re so far down the totem pole is that they aren’t the scintillating conversationalists of those who have cancelled. Then again, maybe this time they’ll surprise you by keeping their feet out of their mouths. Wishful thinking, I know. That being said, if the faux pas fly, send them on an emergency errand–one that takes them out of the house, and out of your hair until the party’s over.

3: Beg your A-Listers to reconsider. If the reason for bowing out was the lack of a babysitter, hire one for them. (Just don’t tell them that you picked the sitter up where all the local streetwalkers hang out. Oops!) If they’re passing because they’ve gotten a better offer, guilt them with your tears. If that doesn’t persuade them, perhaps it’s time to go after the competition. It’s hard to throw a party when your house has burned down. Molotov cocktail, anyone?

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